I went to see a friend tonight who is dying, most likely, of cancer - brain, stomach, and lungs. He looked like hell - eyes sunk into sockets painted black, pastey white complextion, and has lost 38 pounds in two and a half weeks - cancer is truly evil. In my religion, I know God is not behind disease, but logic sometimes takes a backseat to the question of "WHY?" I just want to have the most unchristian temper tantrum. I want to scream obscenities at God and use Him for a punching bag...I know He understands and is not mad at me, which sort of intensifies the anger.
Earlier today, my husband and I made spaghetti sauce, all ingredients from our garden. We took it to a family about to face a horrible trama - daddy is having his leg amputated on the 28th. This is man is in his 30's, married, two young girls, and a severe diabetic. He already has lost all his toes on the other foot. He cries because he can not get out and play with his daughters, because he can not be the father he dreams of being. Obvioulsy, I have had an emotionally tramatic day.
I also miss my two friends, who are, by now, in West Virginia. They have family there - one has her son, wife, and two granddaughters and the other, her brother. I wish them a terrific vacation - they deserve some good times.
Well, good night world, tomorrow brings more, hopefully better days lie ahead.
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